


i'll find a way to be without you, babe

by breadseul



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, ceo yves, lipves are exes, surgeon lippie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadseul/pseuds/breadseul
Summary: jungeun gets the closure she's always wanted
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Kim Jiwoo | Chuu & Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	i'll find a way to be without you, babe

jungeun rested her arms on the railing of the balcony towering over the city. the sparkling lights from the city below her looked pretty and the moon was out too. 

she went outside to take a breath, crowded places were never her thing. her friends, vivi and haseul, held an engagement party, and vivi, being the well-known model that she is, invited a lot of people along with their old friends back in high school.

the air was freezing but it helped calm down jungeun. you could still hear the music coming from inside but it was better compared to being smashed in between the bodies of strangers.

not hearing the sliding glass door open, a girl joined her on the balcony too. 

“the place too cramped for you?” 

she'd recognize that voice anywhere. the voice of the girl who she first fell for. the voice of the girl who broke her heart first. but she didn't know how to act.

“uh yeah,” 

the two ended their relationship years ago. nevertheless, some of the pain still resides in her heart as the other girl was her first love. first loves aren't easy to forget about.

“i didn't expect to see you here,”

well, you should've because this is part of the consequences of having the same friend group was what she wanted to say, but that sounded too bitter and she didn't want this night to be spoiled.

she let a smile play on her lips, “we have the same friend group, you know?” jungeun retorted, nervously playing with her fingers. she could sense the tension and she wondered if the other girl felt it as well.

“i know,” but you started hanging less with us. 

it was because jungeun didn't see the point in hanging out with her ex. after the day it happened, she had always asked herself if something was lacking about her. her insecurities got the best of her so she stopped hanging out with them.

eventually, through the years, the girl learned how to cope and began to realize that it wasn't entirely her fault. it never was. it was both of their faults.

“and you dyed your hair too. blonde hair fits you well.” all jungeun could muster was a little “thank you” that rested on her lips and if the taller girl was not attentive enough, she wouldn't have heard it.

“how are you, sooyoung?” 

“i’m okay, i guess.” it was all overwhelming to sooyoung. seeing her first love look at her without the same glint in her eyes that indicated her feelings for her. she looked stunning right now. the lights adorned the shape of her face. she looked perfect.

she always has.

despite severing their contact with each other, jungeun still knew what was going on in sooyoung's life. she’d read every article there is about the girl and how she began growing so successful over the time they weren't together.

“i heard that you became the new ceo of your dad’s company?”

oh, so she does know…

sooyoung could only hum in response, the feelings bubbling up her chest. this was how they started drifting apart.

—

“i never see you in our apartment anymore!”

they were fighting. again. jungeun just got home from the hospital. they had an emergency because an old lady got a cardiac arrest and she was the only cardiac surgeon available, despite her shift already ending.

“why can't you make time for me like i make time for you?!” sooyoung screamed so loud that she was sure her neighbors would've heard. it was difficult to balance their schedules because they worked in different fields. sooyoung, training to be the next ceo of the family company and jungeun, the rising cardiac surgeon who's bound to be promoted to being the head doctor anytime soon.

jungeun wasn't good at expressing her feelings, not even to the people she loves. 

“sooyoung i’m-” 

“sooyoung i’m sorry i was busy at work,” she was mocking her, “that’s all i fucking hear every single time you come home. if i’m even lucky enough to see you at all!” sooyoung feigned faux enthusiasm. she could feel her body shaking like tremors were racking it.

the tears that threatened to spill from jungeun’s eyes started flowing uncontrollably. she knew that she was barely home, but she worked so hard for this promotion, she just can't stop now.

“please, sooyoung. just a couple more months and we can go back to seeing each other again…” she begged and begged, fear wavering her voice as she sobbed, knowing she hurt the love of her life.

“i can't,”

jungeun's eyes widened, “what do you mean?”

sooyoung stifled a bitter laugh, “i can't wait for you anymore, jungeun. i’ve had enough.”

they fell into silence, the only sound that could be heard was the static of the t.v screen and their hearts screaming at each other.

the younger girl sniffled and grabbed the other’s wrists, “please, my love,” she sounded   
absolutely pathetic. “just a little more time…”

“well, time isn't something i’m abundant of,” her words cut like daggers, “goodbye, jungeun.”

and with that, sooyoung started packing her bags and left through the front door of the apartment that they bought together.

jungeun fell on her knees as sobs racked her body.

—

“mhm, and i heard you're the head doctor of the hospital.”

“yeah, i am.” jungeun smiled, thinking of the things she'd lost just to get this position. thinking of how she lost her first love for this job. she was happy, though. she worked extremely hard for that and she felt accomplished.

“you know, i never got to say this before,”

jungeun lifted her head and for the first time that night, she made eye contact with her ex.

“i’m so proud of you, jungeun. you’ve faced so many obstacles for this job and i’m glad you overcame all of them,” the younger was speechless. she didn't expect this either. 

“i- thank you, sooyoung. it means a lot.” it was the truth. it did mean a lot.

“and i’m sorry for the way things ended between us. sometimes i think of how we would still be together if i waited just a little bit longer,”

your face haunts me every night, the way your face contorted when i told you that we should break up. it haunts me how stupid i was for letting you go.

“but it's all in the past now, yeah?” she could never say the words she wanted to.

“yeah, it is,”

they both fell into one of the comfortable silence that would normally happen until they hear a phone chime.

“as much as i want to talk to you more, i need to go back inside now. my girlfriend, jiwoo, is looking for me,”

“does she make you happy?”

“she does. she really does,”

“well then, who am i to stop you? have a good night jungeun.”

“you too, sooyoung. let's hang out some other time.” the younger smiled at her, the smile that will haunt her again tonight. sooyoung just nods and faces back to the view of the city in front of her.

in a hushed voice, she says,

“i hope you make her happy the way i failed to.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from lorde's "writer in the dark" because i miss her sm pls come back to me and write more therapeutic songs
> 
> i wrote this in like one sitting so i apologize for this shitty fic but i needed angst 😔
> 
> twt: @luvlyhye  
> cc: luvlyhye
> 
> leave feedbacks pls they mean a lot


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